So I had lunch with a friend. It was pretty alright… not the best shit ever but still alright. Our food came maybe 5 minutes or so after we have ordered it and when I say ‘we’ I mean my friend because that’s kind of jerk I am. The waiter guy asked which dish was who’s but we just yelled at him to just dump it all on the table and be off because we were pretty hungry. We didn’t have time for useless chit chat because it was game time. He first went for the seafood gumbo and I rolled the chicken pot pie. The pot pie wasn’t really that classic pot pie that everyone usually imagines but this is the modern age, time to step away from all that classical shit and just slap on a square airy pastry slice on my pie soup. They added a strawberry on the side as a type of garnish which I thought was pretty nice, totally odd though.
Mean while, my friend was stuffing his face all hardcore full of his seafood gumbo. He offered me a taste and it tasted like pure shit. The kind of pure shit that comes out of California happy cows, not to be hating on those happy cows tho. I’m sure they’re very happy shitting everywhere. The gumbo was very seafoody. I mean, I’m for seafood but that was too much seafood for me. We live here in the south so that should be normal but I still didn’t like it. It was also pretty darn spicy, dat cajun spicy. I’m not great for spicy things either.
So once my friend finished off his seafood gumbo he jumped straight into his sandwich. I totally forgot what kind of sandwich it was… a reuben? beefeater? I dunno. All I knew was it had a ton of thinly sliced pastrami and a bunch of ridged potato chips in the middle.
I fucking love ridged potato chips. It is far superior than any other potato chip in both crispness, saltiness, texture, color, and all them other descriptors used to describe a potato chip. I mean, ridges hold a ton of advantages over non-ridged. Ridged chips have better structural integrity so you could actually build a small house on the stuff. Historically, ridges were a sign of power in war. To claim high ridges means holding the high ground where you can lay waste to your stupid enemies down below. Tanks also have ridged tracks to help them troll across many battlefields. I mean… fucking tanks! nuff said! Also Klingons were all about their ridges. It was the ridges that helped Worf endure trial by pain sticks.
Oh, by the way, all that stuff you just read was all made up and completely false. My friend and I had a great calm lunch where nothing crazy happened. We had ice cream… and it was good.